Would my lover leave his wife if I had more of a career?

Would my lover leave his wife if I had more of a career?


DEAR DEIDRE: I LOOK on my lover’s wife’s Facebook page and I feel nothing but hatred for her.

I hate her for the smug way she looks at the camera and for what she puts my lover through and yet I can do nothing about it.

He’s a lovely man who is 25 years older than me. He’s 55 and I’m 30.

I’m single and I work in social care. I regularly visited my lover’s mum which is how I got to know him.

To my knowledge, his wife never visited her mother-in-law or took any interest in her — she sounds like a proper witch.

My patient was a gracious lady and I was so fond of her.

When she passed away her son was so upset we stood together and held one another for comfort. It was probably inappropriate but I felt we had a real connection.

After the funeral, he called into the home with flowers for me and invited me for dinner. He picked me up for a meal and when he dropped me back at home, he kissed me.

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He sent me a text saying I’d made him feel wonderful. I offered to cook him a meal the next night but we kissed as soon as he was through my door.

We went to bed and had sex like I'd never had before.

We’ve been seeing one another for three years but I know it can’t be more than it is.

He loves me but he says he can’t break up another marriage. This one’s his third.

We tried ending our affair during the pandemic. I dated others but it was hopeless. I love this man.

He says his wife is controlling. They haven’t had sex in years but he knows she won’t divorce him because she likes his money.

I think if I had more of a career, he’d be tempted to leave her but I don’t feel I’ve got anything to offer.

DEIDRE SAYS: You need to start valuing yourself and others will follow suit.

You’re low down on his list of priorities, but you’re worth more than being his booty call.

He says he doesn’t have sex with his wife and she’s controlling, but you only have his word for it.

If things were that bad, he’d leave this third marriage. My support pack called Your Lover Not Free explains more.

This relationship is going to give you more lows than highs in the long term so be kind to yourself and end it for good. You’ll feel better when you do.

You deserve to find somebody who’ll commit to you 100 per cent.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My mate came onto me after a few drinks and now he wants more

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