Virtual sex tips for a locked-down Valentine's Day

Virtual sex tips for a locked-down Valentine's Day

02/09/2021

Even though we’ve been in lockdown 3.0 for what feels like 50 years now, the sting of a sexless Valentine’s Day can still be pretty hard to take.

But there are still, erm, things you can do with someone that could do more than take the edge off.

Megwyn White, the Director of Education at sexual wellness brand Satisfyer, has some tips for anyone looking for inspiration when it comes to sex from afar.

She recommends using ‘sexting to get your blood pumping,’ adding: ‘Use messages like texting and voice memos to excite the energy at a distance and test the waters.

‘Images and directive language which tells your partner what you want to do to them, or what you would like them to do to you can be incredible as a lead-up to a video date.

‘Play with sending a voice message that lets your partner know how excited you are to see them. You can also use recordings as a way to guide your lover into feeling themselves with your voice conducting the experience.

‘These surprise audio messages create anticipation and help your partner to explore their body in ways they may have never done before.

‘Let yourself use opportunities like sexting to tap into the most powerful part of your sensuality – your imagination.

‘When you unlock sensual imagination, you can rise above the many stresses of life, and harness motivation to connect with a partner through your passion to create joy and pleasure together.’

When it comes to initiating virtual sex, Megwyn says: ‘Just be yourself and don’t overthink it.

‘Start with flirting either with pics or with words and allow sexting to organically happen.

‘Keep it fun and invite your imagination to the experience. Sexting should be playful and be a balanced “back and forth” engagement.’

She also recommends getting used to using some of the sexier emojis.

‘They can be really great to help express things that might feel weird to type,’ she says, adding: ‘Get creative and experiment with creating your own code to express erotic expressions as a fun way to spark energy between you and your partner.’

Megwyn suggests that you incorporate music into the proceedings, as ‘rhythm and sexuality go hand in hand so bringing music into the mix will naturally invite you and your partner to get in the mood and help to melt anxieties that might be looming.’

If you’ve got any toys to hand, don’t be shy about reaching for them.

Megwyn tells us: ‘Get creative and find your favourite products and share them with your partner.

‘Be open to describing sensations which can invite them more into your sensual world and inspire them to feel what you are feeling.’

If you’re single and navigating the prospect of virtual sex with someone for the first time, Megwyn says: ‘I recommend exploring whatever delights and inspires you to be yourself, while also revealing your wilder side.

‘Remember that communications contain an arc. There is a beginning, middle, and end. Virtual communications highlight this even more, because we don’t have the luxury to cuddle and drift off into a dream world.

‘Whatever you do, whether it’s a slow reveal, or an invitation into an erotic world of bare skin and soul, let yourself tap into a creative journey.

‘What clothing, props, or aphrodisiacs seduce your own erotic nature to come out and play? Use preludes of texts, voice memos, and images to let your lover know what you’re planning.

‘This is also an amazing way to get into a sensual mood and allow you to see ahead of time what the arc of your sensual story might be.’

Even though virtual sex doesn’t allow for physical proximity the same way that ‘standard’ sex does, Megwyn says this could give us the opportunity to ‘experience a new dimension of connection’.

She tells us: ‘Try to think of the video as a window into your lover’s world. Just like a real window, in order to gain perspective on what’s outside of you, there’s a need to become curious, lean in, and explore it as an opportunity.

‘Video calls allow us to see and to be seen and can feel scary. There is an implicit vulnerability which exists, and if you can learn to embrace this aspect of video calls, you can invite a deeper dimension of intimacy that might get lost in a situation where your default is physical contact.

‘If attraction is strong between you and your partner, you have the opportunity to channel that desire into self-connection, and vulnerable expression – two things that are winning ingredients for a sustainable and loving connection, or a juicy erotic interlude.’

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