Partner doesn't want sex since giving up booze – I can't face a life of celibacy

Partner doesn't want sex since giving up booze – I can't face a life of celibacy


DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my partner gave up drinking, he gave up on sex too.

We’ve been together for 12 years and we have two wonderful children together.

During the first lockdown, he drank far too much and ended up becoming an alcoholic.

After a stint in rehab, he came home and is back to being the guy I fell in love with.

The only problem is, he no longer wants sex.

He has entirely lost his libido. We’ve always had a healthy sex life, and it’s making me feel unattractive and inadequate.

We asked the doctor about it when the problem first started, and were told it’s normal, but it’s now been almost seven months, and things aren’t improving.

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I’m 42 and my husband is 44 – we’re too young to live like a celibate old couple.

Will we ever have sex again?

DEAR DEIDRE: Sexual problems are common in addiction and during recovery from addiction.

Your husband may have self-esteem and performance worries.

If you used to have sex mainly when he was drunk, it may take his body time to rediscover its natural responses.

It may be that patience and time are all you need, but do speak to the doctor again if things don’t improve.

My support pack Reviving A Man’s Sex Drive might help.

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