My wife and I want a baby but I can't reach an orgasm during sex | The Sun

My wife and I want a baby but I can't reach an orgasm during sex | The Sun

01/25/2023

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife and I are desperate for a baby but no matter how hard I try I can’t reach an orgasm during sex.

I feel completely useless, and I’m beginning to worry that it’s starting to negatively impact our marriage.

I’m 28, she’s 27 and we’ve been together for six years.

While we’ve always known that we wanted children of our own one day, it wasn’t until six months ago that we felt ready to start trying.

We did everything we could to maximise our chances of my wife conceiving by tracking her ovulation cycle, cutting down on alcohol, and even taking supplements.

But little did we know that we would have one very big hurdle to cross, and that was for me to climax during sex.

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Until now we had always had a great sex life. And while I had experienced some similar issues in the past, it wasn’t anything that we didn’t overcome.

Yet now it seems that all odds are stacked against us and every time we’ve tried to have sex I haven’t come close to reaching an orgasm.

We’ve tried experimenting with so many different positions I’ve lost count, but despite all our efforts nothing seems to make a difference.

I don’t understand what’s wrong with me, or why this is happening. I never experience any of these issues when I masturbate or watch porn.

I feel so frustrated that I can’t give my wife the family that she deserves.

She has been so understanding, but I know deep down this is starting to affect her.

I’m at a loss. Is there something wrong with me?

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DEIDRE SAYS: There is nothing physically wrong with you, this is almost certainly a psychological issue.

You only have to have an issue once to lose confidence, then the next time you experience erectile dysfunction again.

You have started to experience these issues since deciding to start a family. So try not to put too much pressure on yourself and enjoy the process.

The biggest sexual organ is your brain so if you feel pressurised, this will translate through to your performance.

You can agree to take sexual intercourse off the table for a week or two with your wife. Then next time your erection should return as normal.

I’m sending my support pack Men Who Can’t Climax which has plenty more advice, in case you still have issues.

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