My ex kept me and our son a secret from his family for four years

My ex kept me and our son a secret from his family for four years

09/09/2021

DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though we were together for four years, my ex-boyfriend is keeping me and our six-month-old son a secret from his family.

I’m yet to meet his mum and sister.


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He told me it was because they aren’t good, supportive people – but now I’ve learnt it’s because they don’t know we exist.

I’m 26 and my ex is 29.

Now my ex is saying the only way he will introduce us is if I take him back.

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But I don’t think that would be right for me or my son. My ex was very controlling and I was miserable with him.

But I do want my son to have a relationship with his grandmother and auntie. Should I get in touch with them without his knowledge?

DEIDRE SAYS: Your boyfriend is trying to blackmail you, which fits with the controlling behaviour you mentioned.

Ask yourself if it would be worth the possible fallout of going behind his back and also consider this question: what would you do if his relatives showed no interest anyway?

It sounds as if you have got away from a damaging relationship and it would be safer to stay as far away as possible.

Focus on building a happy family for your son with your relatives, who you know will love and protect him.

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