Mum rages as one daughter is asked to be flower girl while other is snubbed07/13/2019
A woman has taken to Mumsnet to ask foradvice after her youngest daughter was asked to be a flower girl at a wedding – but her eldest daughter wasn’t even invited.
The mum explained that she has two daughters, nine and five, the eldest of whom is not her husband’s.
She says that the treatment of her eldest is not usually too bad – but that her husband’s family clearly don’t see her as family.
While her in-laws always buy birthday presents for the youngest daughter, there is never anything for the eldest.
She wrote: ‘They are clearly not bad people but clearly don’t see her as family.’
Her husband’s brother is now getting married, and her youngest daughter has been asked to be a flower girl, while the eldest is not even invited as it is a ‘child-free’ wedding.
This is upset the mother, who feels her eldest should have also been asked to be a part of the wedding too.
However, she is scared to bring the situation up with the rest of the family, in case they ‘actually say that she isn’t family and bring up the fact that this is a parallel situation’ to her daughter’s paternal family.
She said: ‘Am I being unreasonable? Should she have been invited to this step-uncle’s wedding? In my heart of hearts (not that I would tell anyone in real life) I think she should have been asked to be a flower girl too!’
Since posting, many other mums have commented to say they completely understand where she is coming from and wholeheartedly agree that her eldest daughter should be treated as family, too.
One woman said: ‘Totally agree should be invited and someone needs to have quiet word with them.’
Another wrote: ‘I think the whole thing sounds really sad. I’d struggle to be nice about bringing the girls around to be treated differently and would happily say we need to limit contact as I understand she’s not your granddaughter but she’s a child and just sees that she has no family except me as her dad’s side don’t do anything either.
‘I’m her mum and I can’t watch that. They might not be “bad” people but they are pretty bloody thoughtless.
Someone else said: ‘This is why we don’t go to child-free weddings. I feel sorry for your daughter. Aside from the wedding, I think your husband needs to remind people that this girl is his family and they are hurting him by excluding her.’
It’s a very sad and uncomfortable situation for any parent with children from a previous marriage – we just hope the little girl isn’t too affected by this.
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