Sideswipe: November 25: A triple yoker for breakfast

Sideswipe: November 25: A triple yoker for breakfast


We have feelings too

A bill designating octopus, crayfish, crab and other animals as sentient beings capable of experiencing feelings and sensations including pain and distress, is now moving through the UK parliament. The bill initially classified all vertebrates – animals with a backbone – as sentient beings. But cephalopods, including octopus, squid, and cuttlefish and decapods, including lobster, crab and shrimp, were added. The evidence is “very strong” in octopus, study author Dr Jonathan Birch notes. “For squid and cuttlefish, the evidence was less strong but nonetheless substantial,” according to the report. It recommends against declawing crabs and live boiling crayfish without first stunning them. Researchers could not identify a humane and commercially viable way to kill cephalopods, which are often clubbed, asphyxiated or stabbed in the brain. The legislation will not affect fishing practices or restaurants that sell shellfish but will protect the animals in future decision-making.

Feeling emasculated

Not thinking things through …

Points won for punctuality. Points lost for comically bad common sense. The AP reports that a man in Germany had the bright idea to drive himself to his own driving test. What’s more, he parked the car right in front of the man who was there waiting to give him the exam in Bergheim, near Cologne. The 37-year-old told responding officers that he drove his unlicensed self to the test because he didn’t want to be late. Police, unimpressed with his logic, say he faces charges of driving without a licence.

One smart doggo

Andrew Parsons of Mission Bay writes: “My mum got a rescue dog – a somewhat elderly Labrador. In the beginning, we considered him a rather erratic guard dog: sometimes when we arrived, he’d bark, sometimes not. Over time, we realised how intelligent he was: if mum was on the sofa with him and next to the door, he was schtum, if mum was in the kitchen, one woof and if she was in the garden, three loud woofs.”

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