Kate Ferdinand opens up on miscarriage: Its hard to grieve a loss no-one can see09/21/2022
Kate Ferdinand has opened up about the devastating miscarriage she experienced this summer.
The former The Only Way is Essex star and wife of football legend Rio Ferdinand announced she'd miscarried in late July following a routine 12-week scan.
And now, the 31 year old has opened up on her podcast, Blended, explaining that it's been "really hard when you're grieving a loss that no one can see".
She explained how she found out she was pregnant and the events that followed in detail on the episode that was released on Wednesday 21 September.
She said: "I found out I was pregnant the day before my birthday.
"We were due to get on a boat and go drinking the next day and I was so sea sick, it was a crazy birthday. Everyone else was crazy and dancing, I hadn't told anyone and I was so sick on the boat.
"I was so excited. Rio was so excited, we couldn't wait to have a sibling around Cree's age because the big kids are much older.
"We just thought it would be lovely for him to have a little friend running around. The kids clocked on this time so we told them and some family this time."
However, it wasn't to be, and Kate spoke candidly about the moment she found out her pregnancy had not gone to plan, saying she "immediately burst into tears" when she was told they couldn't detect a heartbeat.
She said: "I was thinking maybe it was a girl because I felt slightly different. Looking back, I was sick at the beginning and then I wasn't. I was a little bit anxious but I'm an anxious person anyway.
"We went to lunch before the 12-week scan and there was blood there and I felt like God was giving me a sign. We were literally leaving to go to the scan."
She added: "We both tried to pretend it wasn't happening and it was fine. It was the longest walk ever to the hospital. I felt like I knew and someone was preparing me. I just had to look at the lady's face. It was awful, I just burst into tears."
She then opened up about how it became the "longest weekend of my life".
Kate said: "I wasn't prepared for what happens afterwards. We had planned how to tell everyone. We had filmed the kids and were going to go home and put it on social media.
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"I just wanted to get out of the room but also thought of leaving the room terrified me because I have to go and tell the children and go home and act normal.
"It was a Friday and Lorenz's birthday on the Sunday and then surgery on the Monday. It was the longest weekend of my life."
Kate explained that going in for surgery brought back memories of having a C-section when giving birth to son Cree, now almost two, and how the miscarriage had affected her body.
"It was the same hospital for surgery as where I had Cree and the same medical team. I felt like I was having my C-section again. It was really hard when you're grieving a loss that no one can see."
If you're affected by this story, you can seek support and advice from tommys.org and petalscharity.org.
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