Jeremy Clarkson suffered 'smashed testicles' after attack by a cow

Jeremy Clarkson suffered 'smashed testicles' after attack by a cow

01/04/2022

‘I was on my knees with crossed eyes’: Jeremy Clarkson reveals he suffered ‘smashed testicles’ after being attacked by a cow

Jeremy Clarkson has revealed he suffered ‘smashed testicles’ after being attacked by one of his cows.

The Clarkson’s Farm star, 61, was nutted by one of his animals while attempting to herd them into a brand-new barn he forked out £175,000 on to house his animals over the winter months.

In his The Sunday Times column, Jeremy wrote: ‘I had a plastic bag full of cow treats, which I rattled to let the beasts know that food was in the offing, but as they’re pasture-fed, they had no interest in my nutty snacks. One of them, though, did have an interest in killing me. 

Accident: Jeremy Clarkson has revealed he suffered ‘smashed testicles’ after being attacked by one of his cows

‘It’s said a cow cannot kick backwards but I can testify to the fact that this isn’t true. A cow can kick in any direction. They are like Bruce Lee, only more deadly and determined because, having failed to connect with her hoofs, she went for another tack – putting her head between my legs and then raising it smartly.

‘This worked well and immediately I was on my knees in the mud with crossed eyes, trying to push the cow away. This, it turns out, is impossible. It’s like trying to push Westminster Abbey.’

Jeremy said this was the lowest point in his farming career to date and was ‘very miserable’ afterwards.    

Fortunately, the cow eventually decided to stop tormenting the former Top Gear host and headed into her new surroundings.  

Injury: The Clarkson’s Farm star, 61, was nutted by one of his mischievous moos while attempting to herd them into a brand-new barn he forked out £175,000 on to house his animals over the winter months

But this wasn’t Jeremy’s first painful incident in recent times. 

In December, the TV star sliced off part of his thumb in a gruesome kitchen accident while he was making chilli-flavoured crisps with his girlfriend Lisa Hogan.

He wrote: ‘You slide the potato along it and the razor-sharp blade takes a slice off the bottom. Then you slide it again and it takes another.

‘And you keep doing this, with much vigour, until eventually your thumb is in the firing line and it take a slice off that. A big slice. A crisp-sized slice.

‘Lisa noticed that under the mandolin, among the slices of potato, there was a piece of meat. It was like a miniature pork chop, about 2cm long, 1cm wide and 3mm thick. And, yes, it was half my thumb.’

Column: Jeremy wrote: ‘It’s said a cow cannot kick backwards but I can testify to the fact that this isn’t true. A cow can kick in any direction. They are like Bruce Lee, only more deadly’

Jeremy bought the plot of land in 2008 and documentary series Clarkson’s Farm follows the presenter’s highs and lows of tackling a 1,000 acre working farm.

The presenter recently revealed he was ‘the happiest he has ever been’ and that he ‘loved every second’ of filming the new hit show.

His Diddly Squat shop is described as a ‘small barn full of good, no-nonsense things’ on its official website.

The Amazon Prime series follows an intense and frequently hilarious year in the life of Britain’s most unlikely farmer and his team, as they contend with the worst farming weather in decades, disobedient animals, unresponsive crops, and an unexpected pandemic.

Unfortunate: Jeremy said the incident was the lowest point in his farming career to date and was ‘very miserable’ afterwards

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